Childern learn by watching us

Working as a teacher in Florida schools has given me a front row seat to students bullying one another. First, superiority has to be established. That can be age or size or financial status or any number of other factors. Follow that with intimidation and you’re the power broker.

Since kids aren’t born knowing these things, it is easy to surmise they learned it by watching it happen. Some of them were bullied by other students or siblings and just decided to turn the tables. Lots of times bullies are the result of parental browbeating, a form of bullying.

I have always abhorred bullying no matter who did it or what their reason. What is gained by bullying? Sometimes it’s for things, I.e. Money, homework, electronics. My observations showed more often than not the bullying was for power and control over people and a bully’s need to just build themselves up in their own eyes. “I’m better than anyone else.”

Recently I, a senior citizen, was the object of a bullying attempt by one of my peers. First, the confronter used a loud voice asking pointed, nosey questions. Then intimidation was attempted by asserting his rank over me. “Don’t you know who I am?” he yelled. No, and I truthfully didn’t care either. Even threats were made by another bullying cohort of his. “I’ve got a gun!” so if you don’t do what I say…. I was able to “consider the source” in both instances and pity the poor fellows.

And can you believe it, this all took place in front of a child. How nice that these two senior citizens were teaching a kid not only how to but that it was okay to talk to people in this manner. (Sarcasim, folks) Bullying is being taught by people of all age groups.

When will it stop? Our kids don’t have a snowball’s chance if their peers, parents and grandparents are all examples of what not to do.

On the Road Again...

As a child I remember taking road trips at least twice a year from central Florida where we lived to Knoxville, Tennessee to visit Mamaw Kirkland and all of Momma’s sisters and brothers. Momma had eight brothers and sisters and one half sister. Those aunts and uncles produced 33 cousins and I-don’t-know-how-many half cousins.

The early trips were made before a spade of dirt was turned for what is now I-75. The route was Hwy. 441 to Hwy 411 somewhere in north Georgia. That took us over the mountains (Smokys) to Sevierville where we hung a left to Knoxville. Twelve hours in a car with no air conditioning. Five of us: Momma and Daddy and three kids.

Once we were there we settled into whichever Aunt was housing Mamaw for bedding down. Pallets on the floor was the usual bill of fare for all the kids so the grown-ups could have the beds. Day trips were made to visit the other aunts and uncles and cousins.

We were double cousins to Aunt Bonnie’s kids. Momma’s eldest sister married Daddy’s cousin Wiley. I especially loved visiting Aunt Bonnie as she had a swing on her porch. Aunt Bonnie lost Uncle Wiley when she had four children, the oldest was six, and two of those were in diapers.

I liked all my kinfolk. But my favorite Aunt was Pauline, married to Momma’s brother Fred. Aunt Pauline used only Palmolive soap for bathing—had something to do with a skin problem or allergy. Her house smelled wonderful to a little girl. She and Uncle Fred didn’t have children of their own until they adopted two great infant boys when I was about 8 or 9 years old.

Fond memories fill my heart of those early trips. As I-75 was being built, we had some harrowing times with Momma in the car. She didn’t like to drive—didn’t drive most of her life as it was—but loved to tell Daddy what he was doing wrong. Most of the time he was driving too fast to suit her. And she hated it when people passed us on two-lane sections. And don’t you dare talk as he drove through construction areas!

We kids still laugh uproariously when we remember the day Daddy was driving through Atlanta near the airport. The path of landing planes was straight in front of us heading south where we were coming from. Momma saw a plane coming at us. It got lower and lower. All she could do was point and yell “Oooh, Oooh, Oooh!” We understood how afraid she was thinking we were about to be struck by the plane. But we couldn’t help ourselves. I was more afraid of Daddy driving off the road from laughing at Momma!

Those trips were swapped for drives by Clyde and the kids and me from South Carolina to Florida to visit grandparents. There were two routes to choose from. One took us on the Woodpecker Trail through central eastern Georgia to I-95. Statesboro and Claxton were along that path. Later we settled on a course through the Savanna River Site to Hardeeville to pick up I-95. Only one or two towns to go through that way. Lots of farm land and forested areas.

Today my trips are north to Milledgeville, Georgia to visit Lois Ann and Craig and the boys. It takes me about an hour to meander through the Ocala National Forest to reach I-75. Then only about 30 to 45 minutes from I-75 in Macon to Milledgeville. Today there are only about two stretches of I-75 in Georgia that aren’t six-lane. I set the cruise control, air conditioning and either radio or cd to music or talk and relax. Traffic around Gainesville and then Macon have me slowing down and going manual.

This morning I gave out kisses and good-byes to Lois Ann and Craig and the boys for their trip home. Over spring break for Craig, they made the trek to visit me. What a joy having them here. Two days were spent doing the tourist thing: Kennedy Space Center and St. Augustine. We got to visit with Joanna and Justin over dinner in St. Augustine. Saturday we stayed home and people came to visit with us. Craig made a delicious pot of gumbo to share. Ann brought Sangria and Grace and Donny saw we had cookies. There were 20 of us talking, sharing, eating, drinking, reminiscing and enjoying each other’s company. Andy and Donny and the kids stayed later so the cousins could have an extended visit. Besides, Andy loves playing with Liam.

Elliot and Liam got to eat on the porch, take walks to the lake and feed the animals, listen to the vast number of songbirds and get loved on by their Mamaw. It is time for a new family to gather fond memories of excursions to far away family.

In the Name of God

What is religion? According to Encarta Dictionary: 1. People’s beliefs and opinions concerning the existence, nature, and worship of a deity or deities, and divine involvement in the universe and human life; 2. An institutionalized or personal system of beliefs and practices relating to the divine; and 3. A set of strongly-held beliefs, values, and attitudes that somebody lives by. That is pretty much what I already knew and understood.

Next, what is the objective of religion in the world today? That’s a little more difficult to pin down even in generalities. From what I’ve read and witnessed, it appears the world’s religions today have their members focus on the spiritual side of individuals and how they exist and cope—remain sane—every day of every week of every year they are alive. Some of these religions have a god or gods they credit with their source of life and means of survival. And they show their appreciation for their existence through a form of worship of the god/gods.

Through the recorded history of religion around the world, people have done many things in the “name of religion.” Peace, kindness, help and support for those less fortunate than themselves are common among most of the religions. I’d really like to say “all religions” here but I can’t. That is because there has been much pain thrust on people in the name of some religions, even my own.

Joshua (a Jew) in the Old Testament led the Israelites in circling the city of Jericho blowing horns and causing the wall to collapse so its inhabitants could be killed and the Israelites would have a new town to call their own.

The Christians in the eleventh to thirteenth centuries used crusades to satisfy their need to eradicate the infidels of Islam. Then they followed that with the beginnings of the reformation and persecution of people that didn’t agree with their interpretation of their scriptures.

However, Judaism and Christianity’s God and Son of God do not promote the killing of anyone—in fact they do just the opposite encouraging acceptance of others’ diversity of faith. In the Christian New Testament the Son of God tells his followers to “forgive seven times seventy” those who do you wrong and to “turn your cheek” when someone strikes you instead of hitting back. ("But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also; and from anyone who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt. Give to everyone who begs from you; and if anyone takes away your goods, do not ask for them again. Do to others as you would have them do to you"…Luke 6:27-31)

Hinduism and Buddhism profess inner peace is gained through living a life of serving your fellow man and creatures, not through destruction of others.

That brings me to Islam. I have been told by many people that the Quran does not instruct its followers to go out and kill non-believers. This doesn’t shake out for me with what is happening in the Middle East these days the touting by Islam's holy men for there members to kill all who aren't Muslim belivers.

Leader after leader keeps telling us the Palestinians (Muslims) won’t allow Jews to live in Israel; they have to kill them to rid the area of the non-believers. Heck, the Islamist kill one another because of who they profess to be the rightful replacement for Mohammed! Killing is their answer for anyone who disagrees with them.

Killing is barbaric and savage. People who profess to kill in the name of a god are themselves barbaric and savage. Any holy person (?) that says “Whoever changes his religion…kill him” does not respect a person’s right to life.

Why do Muslims believe it is okay to aggressively murder Jews (bombing of Israel), but, if the Israelis protect themselves from the murderers, that’s wrong and unacceptable? “Stand there and let me kill you because I’m righteous and you’re not worthy to live.” And that’s what their god says is the right thing to do?

I am embarrassed, humiliated and mortified by the slaughter of human life by Christians over the centuries. And, personally, I can’t respect any religion that glorifies the killing of anyone.

Peat and Repeat were sitting on a Log

Is history going to repeat itself as it always has? Here's hoping it doesn't.

In 1960 the United States had an election for president. The winner was the first Catholic to serve as our president. Much rhetoric was espoused about how Kennedy would do whatever the Pope told him to do. That did prove to be wrong. Our country had taken an important step forward.

Kennedy was an intelligent man. Some have said he was one of the top three/four presidents given that accolade. He didn't accept a salary while serving as president. And, I believe, he was very genuine in his character albeit marred with sexual escapades hidden by the press. (Did Clinton think he could be another Kennedy and everyone would turn their heads?)

However, Kennedy was one of the worse presidents we had in getting things accomplished in government. Check his record. His stand against Cuba and the Russian missiles was, in my opinion, the only good thing he accomplished. But when he died and Johnson moved into the White House, it was a drastic change. Johnson was a longtime member of Congress and could pass anything through the legislature—and he did.

Kennedy put "observers" in Viet Nam; Johnson sent soldiers. Kennedy pushed for civil rights legislation; Johnson made it a reality. Kennedy said "…ask what you can do for your country," Johnson gave welfare carte blanche—something for nothing for everybody.

I remember a joke circulating while we were at UF. "After you see the doctor at the free clinic, pick up your government check. I'll get my free pair of glasses and government check for school and we'll meet up at 3 p.m. to protest the government." It took three and a half to four decades to correct those Johnson giveaways.

God forbid, if anything happens to Obama, we'd have another Johnson in Biden in the White House.

Last night's celebrations were not about a Democratic president, it was about an African American becoming president. All the speeches addressed our having a first African American president. If that isn't about race, what is? People weren't celebrating what President Elect Obama is going to do as president. That—what he is going to do as president—is what scares me. I've been there and seen that already.

Obama has no experience to prepare him for the presidency. Some people say that is his plus. Even Kennedy had experience!

And what does Obama want to do with our country? Everything he has said is a return to a welfare state. Our military has not been respected by Democratic party officials since the '60s. Remember our soldiers coming home from Viet Nam and being spat upon? Have we forgotten how the Clintons and their staff treated the military personnel serving at the White House? I haven't. And have we forgotten that under a Democratic president our soldiers were financially below the poverty level in salary and housing? In 1980 our military officers were saying, "If we had to go to war, we don't have time (equipment, manpower, etc.) to pull our pants on."

Being a charismatic speaker doesn't get anything accomplished in our government. Being an African American doesn't get anything done in our government. Being a Chicago political insider doesn't get anything done in our government.

So what does work in Washington? For all the change the Democratic party touted during the election process, their members in Congress/Washington will never relinquish their power for that change—just ask Pelosi. History will rear it's ugly head again—Give me! Give me! Give me!

Then, again, being God would get things done in our government.

All American Sport

This evening I made a detour on the way home from work to a T-ball game. The rush of wonderful baseball memories flooded over me going to, while at and going home from the game.

My draw to the game was my four and half year old great nephew--Matthew. Until his mom signed him up for the team, Matthew hadn't put a glove on his hand. I doubt he had swung a bat even. Only a hand full of players on the team had played before. The coaches did a tolerable job in getting some basics in before this first game. Watch the ball. Get the ball to a base. Hit and run to first. One foot on the base, the other a step toward the next base. While in the field, put your hands on your knees so you are ready to go after the ball. And, again, WATCH THE BALL!

Needless to say these little boys need more experience running. Playing in the yard and riding tricycles and chasing friends around help strengthen those leg muscles and give more endurance.

The game took me back 26 years to when Wally signed up and played T-ball the first time. That baseball elation kept me on an upper for six or seven years attending his games. I think I may have missed three games he had over those years.

That first team for Wally had only one boy that had played on a team before. Sure you, too, can remember these wonderful moments: The child that hits the ball and runs to first; coach yells "Keep going" so the player runs on the white line (as instructed in practice) to the outfield instead of turning to second base. And there is always the batter that hits and runs to third base. Many of the players don't throw the ball, they chase the runner down.

I remember the night Wally was in the outfield, scooped up the ball and knew he could outrun the batter. He ran all the way in with everyone yelling "THROW THE BALL." As he got just past the pitcher, he heard everyone and stopped, then he looped the ball to the catcher.

Those early baseball years were also full of lots of learning for the players. Of course the skills were developed and honed. Understanding of the game and its objectives were learned. Then there was a shift to strategy with bunting, stealing bases, throwing out the lead runner.

But the greatest growth I witnessed in those ball players was loyalty, support and camaraderie. Wally had a girl on his team for several years. She got hit by a pitch in practice one day and was skittish at the plate after that. But the boys encouraged her every time she got up to bat. I never heard one of them put her down when they lost a game because of her outs. The night she was finally able to swing the bat at a ball instead of jumping backwards, the team and all the parents in the stands went crazy for her. It was bedlam. I can't tell you if she got on base or was thrown out. It didn't matter. The boys gave her the game ball that night even though one of them had hit a home run--home runs usually garnered the game ball. I like to call it building character.

When Wally went to high school and chose NJROTC over playing baseball, I had withdrawal. Heck, he was a great first baseman. At 6 feet 3 or 4 inches with size 13 or 14 shoes, he could put one foot on first base and reach half way to second base! And run? Boy, could he run. A friend of his on another team playing third base commented after a game, "I could hear Wally coming-clomp, clomp, clomp-around second and right at me."

My love for baseball began when I was eight years old; that's when my parents bought our first television. On Saturday afternoons Daddy would sit down in the living room floor and turn on the baseball game. I'd join him. Mom loved watching the World Series every year. In fact her favorite player was Whitey Ford. Do you remember him?

In 1970 C and I moved to Cincinnati, home of the Reds. That summer the Reds moved out of their old stadium and into Riverfront Stadium. We got to some games there. And to be a name dropper--we witnessed Roberto Clemente (Pittsburg Pirate) hit an inside the park home run. I remember C saying "He was rounding second before that ball started coming down."

This was when the Big Red Machine was being built. Johnny Bench, Pete Rose, Joe Morgan, Tony Perez, Sparky Anderson, Lee May, Dave Concepcion, to name a few.

After moving south again, the Atlanta Braves took first place for me. I must add that I am a National League fan. I really was hoping the Tampa Bay Rays would be an NL team and was very disappointed they went to the AL.

Baseball is called the All American sport. I love college football and college basketball--not pro. But I love baseball from T-ball to pro.

And I love the baseball movies: Bad News Bears (1 & 2), The Natural, Field of Dreams, Angels in the Outfield, A League of Their Own, Bull Durham.

I hope my little Elliot will play T-ball in a year or two. Attending his games would be top on my list. For now I'll attend and support Matthew in his pursuit of the game.

Tonight I was beaming with pride when, at his very first T-ball game, Matthew's coach presented him with the game ball for his "two great hits." Way to go Matthew Tyler!

Please and Thank You

For Labor Day weekend I traveled to visit Lois Ann, Craig and the boys. I had no sooner stepped in the house and tried to hug necks when Elliot started asking me a question that was certainly important to him--very important. We all hushed and LA helped him slow down and ask me, "Mamaw will you fix it please?"

No matter what IT was, I was going to fix IT! His eyes were sparkling when he ran back into the room waving a knitted hat with two pompoms on it with one pom about to fall off. "Fix it Mamaw please" was his request again. By the next morning it was in perfect shape, and Elliot promptly pulled in on his head and started shaking it. All it needed was jingle bells to fill the house with sound. "Thank you Mamaw! Thank you Mamaw! Thank you Mamaw!" brought tears of joy to my eyes.

C and I were raised to say please and thank you. We taught our children the importance of this simple courtesy along with yes/no ma-am/sir. When only C and I were at the table, we said please pass... and thank you to one another. It was part of who we were.

At dinner one night when Lois Ann was just starting to talk (Mama and Dada were the first two words), I passed her something at the table. She said "too too." We weren't sure what she meant. But we soon figured it out. She was saying Thank You--her third word. All our buttons popped! We were very proud she had learned naturally and from observing us to be courteous.

Courteousness in general appears to be going by the way side these days. Liberty Mutual Insurance is trying to re-introduce it to the masses. I love their advertisements showing people watching individuals do random acts of kindness for others. Yes, they are simple little things that, on the surface, may seem silly to some. But that is where courteousness comes from. One person being kind to another.

It is also a minimal way of demonstrating respect for another human being. Just take the time to recognize, to acknowledge and to ask with sincerity. Little Elliot did all of these.

I have no idea when parents stopped teaching their children to be well-mannered. If anyone knows of a social science white paper out there on the subject, I'd love the url.

A liberal radio station had the education-classroom topic up today. A caller stated he believed the problems in today's classrooms (i.e. poor education) started in the '70s when "we Americans" started caring more about having fun and living for the weekend instead of focusing on the importance of learning, doing a good job, etc. Could disrespect toward anyone interfering with that pursuit of frivolity have started rearing it's ugly head and destroying genteelity?

Another choice might be the women's movement in the late '60s and early '70s. During those days there were women that got vocally upset when men would open doors for them. Back then it wasn't unusual for women to be outright nasty to men for treating them politely. If you are nice to someone and they "slap" you, why would you show them respect at all?

A third possibility might be when parents started coming to school and saying to the administration, "What did your teacher do wrong this time?" It was a time when parents believed anything their child said was the truth.

Actually, this situation was the pendulum swinging too far left/right. It was a time of overreaction. But before the pendulum gets back to center, the damage is done. Parents teach their children that adults in position of power are to be treated with contempt. Could the result of that situation be fueling this time of so much disrespect?

Graciousness isn't only for sophisticated people. Being thoughtful and considerate is not a virtue with caste lines. There is no reason for anyone to be discourteous and impolite to others.

Thank you Elliot for asking with "please" and being sincere with your "thank you." You warm the cockles of my heart. But, most importantly, thank you for asking for my help.

Smack-talk or Just Plain Meanness?

Electing a president in our country every four years invigorates and energizes the voters. This particular time around I am basically tired--not because of the candidates and their running mates but because of how long they have been campaigning! It feels as though 2,497 people have been asking for my vote for the past six years.

One convention down and one to go, thank the Lord!

But something happened today to raise my ire. That is what I wish to share with you.

All of you know I consider myself a republican and I am in fact registered as such in my county. This is not a call for you to vote McCain. Those who know me also know I respect the right of everyone to support and vote for their candidate.

My concern today was comments made by radio personalities and the DMC response to McCain's choice of Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate.

The DMC's initial response as read on television referred to Gov. Palin as "the mayor of a city of only 9,000 people." What? This is the Governor of Alaska, not a mayor!

Proper etiquette says we are to use a person's most recent title when speaking of/to them. I don't care why the mayor title was used instead of the governor title. Sen. Obama is not Mr. Obama to me--he is a senator and should be so addressed. Likewise, Gov. Palin is a governor at this point in time, not a mayor.

On a national talk radio station taking calls from all over the country today, announcers were laughing at the fact Gov. Palin "just had a baby in April. She should be home taking care of that baby, not campaigning." That is realllllly setting women in their place! (The announcers were male and female.)

If someone talks like this in trying to convince me to vote for the other person, you just lost my respect. Bring your selected facts and your reasons for support--but be willing to let me stand by my selected facts and reasons for my choice. You won't hear me disrespecting your candidate; don't do the same to mine. That's all I'm asking.

Half the people in the country disagree with me. That doesn't bother me. The other candidate also has half the country's displeasure. What makes the difference is the number of people who take the time to vote.

My mother has voted only once in her life. (She never wanted to be called for jury duty.) What got her to register and vote was the fact she talked smack until she was challenged by C, "You don't vote, you don't talk about it to me. I won't listen to you." Mom definitely wanted to have her say, so she voted!

I find it sad that of the eligible people in our country to vote so few do so. When a country finally gets around to letting their people vote, the television news shows us voters lined up for miles! How I wish that would happen here in the USA.